I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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