1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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