this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
