wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
