All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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