Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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