Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so let's talk penis.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
