Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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