No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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