i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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