im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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