Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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