party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dignity is for republicans.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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