thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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