I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
