There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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