i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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