youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
