yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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