so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
