the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
