I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
