im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
