No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
