I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
