What a fucking waste of an outfit
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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