does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
