did you get engaged???
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
