Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
