When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
