i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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