is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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