come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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