You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
