i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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