I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
