Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
