is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
