I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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