a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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