Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
