My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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