All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
