he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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