nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
