because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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