i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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