somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
