A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't turn off my feet"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
