Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
