So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
