remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
