omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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