Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
