what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
