Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
