dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm always down for nudity.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
