You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
