pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
