i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize